Letting Go of a Relationship
Letting go of someone you love or maybe even someone you don’t love anymore isn’t easy but it's not about them anymore
It’s about you.
You will have pain in your heart and when you have such strong emotions whether negative or positive these can even make you sick to your stomach but these are emotions you can’t ignore. You want to be able to grieve, to cry, and to feel the loss.
By accepting and feeling the loss you are allowing yourself permission to feel bad but at the same time you want to be open to good things that happen around you. Every event, every situation, every action, can have a positive side and a negative side. When you are in the process of letting go you don’t want to let yourself get stuck on only the negative of the situation and block out the positive that is flowing around you.
Don’t blame yourself for a relationship failure, some people just don’t find that certain click that holds them in place. This is never one person’s responsibility that’s why it is termed a relationship. Accept that something changed, it didn’t work out and it’s time to look forward and not back. Don’t be resentful and bitter, this only reflects poorly on how you carry yourself and your attitude. Whatever you’re feeling inside will emanate to the outside, so do you want this to resemble ugliness or beauty?
Know that the feelings of loss will lesson over time. Letting go is a process. You can’t jump ahead and have everything be wonderful again but there are some things you can do to help you until you reach that point in time.
1. Focus on making adjustments in your own life that will make you feel more happiness. They don’t have to big – no major overhaul – maybe just to stop somewhere special in the morning to pick up a coffee or latte before a day of work or plan a special treat to indulge yourself after a long day of work. Spoil yourself.
2. Make some changes in your wardrobe that will make you feel good and positive when you walk out the door to face a new day. When you are looking good and feeling good take the time to stand in front of the mirror and embrace this positive feeling.
3. Spend additional time on family and friends, stop for a social gathering 1-2 times a week with friends, invite people to your home for a fun dessert night or some other creative gathering to spend time with someone special in your life. Get involved socially whenever the opportunity surfaces. You may even find a new relationship will form when you are least expecting it. Never push for involvement in a new relationship when you’re in the process of letting go, be sure to give yourself the time to heel.
4. Change your diet to becoming more health oriented. Why? Because when you feel good – when you know you are making good choices, you interact in a more positive manner. You are more secure, self confident, and you smile more. When you do all of these things you begin to feel it in every aspect of your life.
5. Walk. Taking a 20-30 minute walk every day or even every other day isn’t just for physical fitness although you do benefit from these efforts but it is a meditation time. Time to reflect, time to figure out your priorities, and time to decide what challenges you are going to take on next in your life. You want to keep moving forward in a positive manner and not dwelling on the past so much as focusing on the future. Walking gets you away from normal interruptions and gives you that time to think, contemplate and meditate on these issues you need to focus on.
There is a lot of love in your future waiting for you to get positive and open to receive it again. Never look at the end of a relationship as being the end of your world but of being the beginning of a journey that will open up new doors to new worlds. Remember letting go will get easier as time passes.
Other Related Links
Letting Go when Mental Abuse is Involved
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