From Mental Abuse
Beware of the false impressions that may have been burned into your thought patterns from the past. There are many destructive tapes playing over and over in your head that if you don’t catch and correct may lead you down other similar paths.
You are free to create the new you – someone you want to be. Decide who this is before you start walking blind into your future. Would you like a career? Would you like to go back to school? Move to a new City? Set goals and expectations for yourself.
Think of the situation you were in and what you don’t want as well as what you do want in your life.
Make agreements with yourself to avoid falling into negative patterns. For example – if you finally broke free from an abusive relationship with someone who was an alcoholic then agree you will not look for a new mate while socializing in a bar. Start a new hobby such as bowling or anything that is done socially and in groups but doesn’t include a bar scene.
The below false impressions may be a little harder to deal with because you have been made to believe you are less than perfect. Hey, join the real world.. .none of us are perfect, so you’ll need to break those confidence issues.
You can develop an obsession of trying to please others and always fall short of your own expectations. You need to focus on your inner self improvements and seek out the negative thoughts that have been programmed in your mind. Once recognized, work on this behavior to construct you own thoughts and develop your own identity.
The need for love and acceptance is highly concentrated at this point of your growth. You have been in relationships that have treated you poorly and gave you the false impression that nobody could love or want you. Take my word for this – These were absolutely false impressions drilled into your mind to keep you from ever developing your own independence.
Form friendships that you can rely on rather than committing to a relationship. You will be continuing to grow and change and as you do this you’ll out grow the partners you are with in short periods of time and you may fall backwards a couple of steps by an emotional breakup.
Through your abusive years you have observed other relationships that are full of love and you long for the same. You sometimes develop a fantasy relationship in your mind and can become obsessed in finding it. These relationships will always fall short of your expectations and you will never feel the love that you so much crave. There is no perfect person and if there was, think about this… would they choose to be with you? You must remember someone needs to accept your faults just as you accept theirs.
Sometimes due to the false impressions of rejection alone you unintentionally choose an abusive relationship again. You can continue to follow this pattern over and over again since this has become a comfort zone that you have become accustomed to. You know you will be accepted by a lesser person, a person with baggage and problems. This is a safe place where you feel you will be protected from the scars of rejection.
You’re only allowing yourself to slack off of finding your own identity. This is why you need strong friendships – even support groups to avoid these decisions in moments of weakness.
Other false impressions that you have come to believe may keep you from sharing your opinions with others. You fear being condemned, rejected, or laughed at when trying to share your thoughts in a conversation. Therefore, social settings may leave you feeling lonely like an outsider always looking in but never being able to become involved.
Ironically, this behavior is misinterpreted by others as stuck up and conceited. Others assume that you believe that you are better than anyone else and as a result keep their distance. You need to build your self confidence and force yourself to interject small tidbits in a conversation until you gain assurance of your steps and begin to develop friendships.
These negative behaviors caused by destructive programming from the past need to be the focus of change.
The most beneficial techniques to apply to keep you on the path of growth are:
Self hypnosis - by obtaining a tape that focuses on building your strengths you will have the ability to listen to this tape over and over as you are both gaining power. This is also essential to keep you from overcoming temptations to backslide into unwanted behaviors.
Visualization and Guided Imagery - These are also tapes that are successful in relaxing your mind and gaining self confidence. You are taken mentally out of your doubtful or fearful world and placed in a safe serene setting to gather more strength and energy to stay on your selected path of recovery.
These are very effective choices and I highly recommend you try this even if you are seeking professional help. The voice on the tape becomes an invisible friend you can rely on to always be there in your weak or fearful moments.
Through behavior modification and positive thinking you can gain acceptance of what you may feel as rejection and desensitize yourself from any negative reactions. You do this by changing your thought process which will change the false impressions and how you’ll react to a situation like this.
Seeking help and choosing a path of recovery is essential to future growth and victory over these crippling emotions. It is time to let go of all of the false impressions that have been drilled into your mind and step into your future.
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False impressions can entangle stress with a mix of emotions