How to Deal with them
Mental stress caused by verbal abuse leaves emotional scars that only you know exist. You bury them deep inside with your feelings of uselessness.
You keep them hidden and protected from onlookers knowing that they won’t understand what you are going through and what you are feeling.
You may blame yourself for the way you’re treated. Everything you do seems to be done incorrectly since you can never seem to make this person happy. You experience feelings of helplessness that convinces you that you are serving your sentence in life and this is the way it is meant to be.
Once you recognize that it is your abuser who has the troubles and not you, you start to gain strength to break away. You re-build your confidence level enough to step away and stand on your own two feet. Yes, it’s scary but every change you go through in life has an adjustment period. As you gain more and more self esteem you will have less and less room for fear.
Once you are away from your abuser there is still much mending to do. Emotional scars have caused you to develop many misconceptions of the real world though your negative thoughts of yourself and others. You will notice situations that arise that make you uncomfortable as you replay those self defeating thoughts through your mind.
For example in a social situation you may fear being approached so you keep your distance from others and avoid eye contact. At the same time you long to be social and interact as you see others do.
You may experience emotion as a threat that will cause pain and will therefore retreat within yourself as a means of self protection. You fear that what you have to say is not important or would be of no interest to others or worse yet you could be rejected by another. You are protecting yourself from being subjected to these negative assaults but the key is to realize that these assaults only reside in your mind.
If you were neglected from receiving affection such as being held, touched or nurtured the chances are that you find it difficult to relate to touch and may not know how to respond to these actions.
Due to these emotional scars a simple hug can cause you to become tense and instinctively withdraw by physically pulling away from the other person. The only way to overcome this reaction is to first understand that touch and the showing of affection is meant to be a comforting feeling. A hug or holding hands transmits an emotional sensation that reassures you that you are not alone. Touch is soothing and produces a calming effect.
Each time you encounter this situation use self talk to keep your muscles relaxed and acknowledge that this person wants you to feel special. You also want to feel special but if your instincts pull you away before you have a chance to correct your reaction don’t worry it will take a some time for you to get comfortable with this form of support or affection so next time you try again. Each time will bring you closer to relaxation and acceptance of touch.
Learn to Relax with Breathing Techniques
After frequent and lengthy subjection to mental stress you may have unintentionally withdrawn from the world and chosen to react by not reacting. You have learned that no matter what you say will be considered incorrect. By not speaking you find that you can protect yourself from some of the emotional pain.
You have been mistreated for some time now and you need to rebuild your self-esteem, to be more confident and to live a happy, prosperous life you deserve.
Also look at your perception of the world around you and take some time to debunk some of the bad perceptions that have been ingrained in your mind.
If you don’t heal your emotional scars you will not be capable of changing the way you perceive yourself and others. These False Impressions may lead you down the wrong paths that continue to stunt your growth and delay you’re progress.
Learn and beware of the False Impressions that may cause confusion and misdirection in your healing process.
Other Related Links
False Impressions from Mental Abuse