Anger management simply gives you the tools you need so that you are able to alter your thoughts and reduce the impact of the stressor causing the emotion. Anger is frustration over things that you feel are out of your control.
Typical anger management techniques are the use of deep breathing and meditation as a means of relaxation.Other interventions include learning, stress management skills, forgiveness, changing how you speak about yourself or others and improving optimism.
Most important is that you have to want to change your behavior and outbursts. You are not born with anger so modifications on your thinking process will be required to control your emotions.
The difference in success or failure is not how you look, not
how you dress, not even how you’re educated. It’s how you think!
In many ways we’re all alike; however, one little difference
always makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude.
Perception is the process of acquiring, interpreting, selecting, and organizing sensory information. Your perception may be altering the reality of the situation therefore, igniting those negative behaviors. Perception is changing the way that you view life events including the things that happen around you. In changing perception you may be able to defuse that thought process which would have normally caused hostile emotions.
So when you feel out of control what other methods can you use?
Asses the damage – What are the hidden costs and negative possibilities that can come out of an outburst of anger. Using anger management techniques determine if it is worth the eruption?
Calm yourself – Remove yourself from the immediate trigger causing this response to regain control of your emotions. Take a minute to clear and adjust your thinking process.
Self hypnosis - We all need the positive self talk that hypnosis can deliver when we are feeling low, whether it’s to motivate ourselves, gain confidence in ourselves overcome some fears or negative emotions, ease pain or just to learn something new… another way of looking at a situation … a way to overcome a negative behavior or thought.
Evaluate the situation - Can you find a middle ground for agreement with another person rather than initiate a conflict.
Determine your triggers – What people, places or things cause your anger. Each experience you have note the trigger. This will help you to understand why you react negatively. Are there any changes that can be made to avoid these triggers?
Be alert – Identify the symptoms you are having when you start to sense uneasy feelings of anger. Think of what truly is making you feel this way and then direct your efforts to correcting this issue.
Review your actions and reactions – Take the time to understand what triggered your anger and why. Are you viewing things one sided and focused on self gratification or satisfaction rather than viewing the big picture?
Learn to be direct – Sometimes it's hard to come face to face with someone and speak your feelings. But short term discomfort will bring long term gain. Don’t beat around the bush but take the time to calm down so that you can be effective in resolving the issue. If something upsets you at work, handle it at work. Direct your questions and comments directly to the source of the indifference. Indicate your feelings clearly and honestly.
Stay focused – When you are discussing your feelings stick to the facts that are causing the anger to surface don’t bring up irrelevant or past material just because you are emotional.
Be persistent to reach resolve – If you have to end the conversation before resolve has been met then schedule another time within the next 24 hours that you can pick up your discussion. Not reaching resolve will only continue to fester the problem.
Be open minded – View the other side of all issues to create a balance of what might be acceptable and unacceptable. This may simply be a misunderstanding.
Listen - to what is being said to you. Anger can block your ability to listen because you turn your focus exclusively on what has provoked these feelings.
Learning anger management techniques takes a strong desire to change and the willingness to ask for and accept help from the people closest to you.
Other Related Links
Help with anger and anger management
Perception can Defuse Anger
Road Rage and anger
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