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Mental Stress
Mental stress may be caused by verbal abuse, humiliation and/or intimidation of another person. The abuser may gain control using scare tactics and domination. Verbal abuse is one of the strongest forms of mental stress especially in immpressionable years of adolesence.
There are many causes of verbal abuse. Many child abusers were themselves victims of abuse. Mental illness is another common factor, with many abusers suffering with personality disorders or other severe forms of mental illness. Parental choices and other unforeseen circumstances that place families under extraordinary stress for instance, poverty, divorce, sickness, disability, lack of parental skills and drugs are often associated to child maltreatment. Many of these factors may contribute to family stress that can result in child abuse or neglect. Mental stress caused by verbal abuse leaves scars but the scars are inside. They are kept hidden from and protected from onlookers. Individuals may experience feelings of helplessness when they place the blame on themselves for what has occurred in their life and the paths that they have chosen to take. If your parents only verbally recognized you any time that you did something they were not pleased with then they were limiting your development and growth of your self esteem. You may have been repeatedly told things such as you were stupid, ugly, fat, or worthless, that you would end up going nowhere and become nothing no matter what you did with your life. When continuously being told these things year after year over and over you come to believe and accept these flaws in yourself as true. They must be correct since you have tried everything to make things better, to do things right and nothing worked and nothing changed.
When not given the positive feedback needed to create proper balance you will eventually form an unhealthy image of your self as being unworthy to experience or hope for anything good in your life.
When parents neglect their children by not showing affection such as being held, touched or nurtured the grown adult finds it difficult to relate to touch and may not know how to respond to such actions.
They become tense and may instinctively withdraw by physically pulling away from the situation. After frequent and lengthy subjection to mental stress they may have chosen to react by not reacting. To protect themselves from the pain of emotional abuse individuals tend to withdrawal from the world. They have learned that what they say will be incorrect and consequently chose not to speak. To keep from being recognized they will keep a distance from others and avoid eye contact. By keeping their self isolated they are protecting themselves from all mental stress leading to pain and emotion connected to rejection.
With mental stress as a child the emotionally abused child learns to disconnect themselves from their emotions as a means of protection.
When confronted and involved in an emotional setting they have conditioned themselves to recognize emotion as a threat that will cause pain and will therefore revert within themselves for protection.
In doing this they block their feelings and are unable to show any emotion. These individuals are often viewed in They may develop an obsession of trying to please others and always fall short of their own expectations. When in the years where relationships begin to flourish they may search This can also manifest into an obsession and again they may always fall short never feeling the love that they so much crave. Sometimes due to the fear of rejection from prior years riveted with mental stress they enter an abusive relationship because this is a comfort zone they have become accustomed to, treading unfamiliar ground is thought only to bring rejection. Inevitably these abusive relationships also do not last. This only enforces the feeling of rejection as the individual retreats back to the safety of isolation. Loneliness will play a large part with emotionally abused individuals due to this isolation. Social settings always leave the emotionally abused person feeling left out. They are afraid to communicate for fear of rejection. This makes them feel that they are an outsider always looking in but never being able to become involved. This behavior is misinterpreted as stuck up and conceited. Others assume that this person believes that they are better than anyone else and as a result keep their distance. Mental stress will eventually takes its toll. It took many years to adapt these negative behaviors so correcting these behaviors will take time, trust, and baby steps to turn these situations around but with your help all things are possible. It is time to let go of the past and step into your future.
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